Of Kisses and Hugs: How Appropriate is PDA?

So I was at a coffee shop today. Three guesses as to which coffee shop I was in. Here’s a clue:

Anyway, I brought a book to the coffee shop because the idea was to kill time. In case you’re wondering, the book was Neil Gaiman’s American Gods. It’s a good book, based on topics which I plan to discuss in some other post.

Going back to the point, there was this guy seated to my right. He only had a plastic cup of water on the table in front of him. The water in the disposable plastic cup has reached room temperature and the cup itself was covered in sweat, which meant that he’s been there a while. What he’s waiting for became apparent when a girl walked into the coffee shop, ran right up to the guy, and gave him a five-second kiss on the lips.

Normally, I don’t care about people kissing each other in public. It’s their life. But my conservative sensibilities made me feel that a five-second kiss was pushing it. Nevertheless, I didn’t bother them and tried to read about the adventures of Shadow and the dying gods of ancient cultures, as described by the treasure house that is Neil Gaiman.

It didn’t stop at a kiss though. You need to understand, these two were sitting at a table situated in one of the darker corners of the establishment. They had every reason to think that not a lot of people can see what they were doing. They had their backs to me though, and I could see more than I ever wanted.

At first, they were doing the usual young couple stuff. The guy had his arm around the girl, and the girl rested her head where the guy’s shoulder met his neck. Romantic, I thought at the time. How I wish I have something like that too.

The romance was ruined, for me, when the girl stuck her tongue in the guy’s ear. You read that right. She stuck her tongue in his ear. Conservative or not, don’t you think that was a little bit too much? This proceeded to a lot of kissing and touching–events that I really shouldn’t describe in detail here.

The two were like animals in heat that just had to let release their passion, regardless of who can see them. One of the waitresses in the coffee shop saw me staring at the couple, caught my eye, and smiled conspiratorially. I guess I wasn’t the only one who can see what’s going on.

Despite all that though, the worst part was when I got a good look at the girl’s face. She was young. And I mean really young. Like high school young. It made my big brother instincts tingle, and I wanted to beat the crap out of the guy.

I think they realized I was looking at them. Whatever it was, the couple left a few minutes after things started getting hot and heavy. Maybe they went off to look for someplace more private. Maybe they wanted a larger audience. Who knows.

Here’s my question though: how do you know if what you’re doing is appropriate or not? And how do you react when people are acting inappropriately near you? Do you just ignore them, or call them out? Do you walk past them like you can’t see anything, or throw a water bottle at them? What?


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