Okay, I lied. This list doesn’t cover the entirety of YouTube. It also doesn’t cover all of the viral videos containing inmates dancing or kittens purring. The videos on the list are basically the videos I watch every time I get the urge to visit YouTube. They’re all videos of people singing too, so there’s that. I wasn’t sure what to title this post at first. Top 5 Music Videos on YouTube? Nope, some of the videos on the list aren’t official music videos. Top 5 Videos of People Singing? Too general, too long, and not too catchy. In the end I settled on Top 5 Videos on YouTube (According to Me).
Another thing: the five videos on the list are all of songs sung by just two parties, the Flight of the Conchords and Garfunkel and Oates. I love both of them equally. Their songs are equal parts witty, sarcastic, and fun. When I first watched these videos, I was left clutching my sides from too much laughing and with a feeling of pure happiness. They’re my guilty pleasure.
The Flight of the Conchords is a comedy duo from New Zealand, made up of Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clement. You might recognize Bret from his scene in The Lord of The Rings. Garfunkel and Oates is basically a female counterpart of FotC. I first learned about them when I saw them on TV while performing in some late night show. I think it was Conan O’Brien’s. They’re made up of two rather experienced actors–Riki Lindhome, who’s been in a lot of TV shows, and Kate Micucci, of Scrubs and Raising Hope fame.
So here are the videos I always watch when on YouTube, in no particular order:
Self-Esteem (Garfunkel and Oates)
This song cracks me up every time. If you don’t believe me, play that video. In a separate video, the two girls explained that they wrote this song because a guy, who didn’t know the two girls knew each other, asked both of them out on a crappy date. With lyrics like “My self-esteem’s not low enough to date you” and “I wouldn’t touch your dick if I was poisoned and the antidote was in your sperm“, you’re gonna be rolling on the floor once you finish the video. Also, I think it’s really cute how Riki Lindhome (she’s the blonde with the guitar) curls her nose whenever she says ‘awesome’. Don’t you think so?
Worst Song Medley (Garfunkel and Oates)
As the song title suggests, this is a medley of the duo’s favorite songs as they were growing up. They called it the Worst Song Medley because, I guess, they cringe every time they remember they liked those songs. I like this song because it gives me a sense of nostalgia, even though these two are in an entirely different generation. I liked this video of this song, in particular, because I find it adorable how the two crack each other up at the start. Don’t take my word for it though, watch the video yourself.
In case you’re wondering, the songs in the medley are: (1) I Love You Always Forever, (2) I Don’t Wanna Wait, (3) Too Close (by Next), (4) Kiss Me, (5) I Wanna Sex You Up, (6) Barbie Girl, (7) Breakfast at Tiffany’s, (8) Thank You, (9) Sunny Came Home, (10) Cotton Eye Joe, (11) Rush, Rush, (12) I’ll Be Missing You, (13) I Love You Always Forever. I can’t vouch for the accuracy of that list though. I just copied it off the comments section.
Pregnant Women are Smug (Garfunkel and Oates)
Have you ever talked to a pregnant woman and she made you feel like your life is so insignificant because she’s having a baby and you’re not? Have you ever asked a pregnant woman about your baby just to be polite, only to be talked down to because she’s pregnant and you’re not? Well, these are the problems that the two girls talk about in this video. You can just see how much they hate pregnant women and their tendency to speak in cliches. “Bitch! I was just being polite!”
Jenny (Flight of the Conchords)
What I love about songs written by these guys is that they almost always tell a story. This song, for instance, tells the story of a guy who meets a girl in the park. The girl talks to him as if they’ve met before, but he doesn’t remember a thing about her. The song basically details how he keeps messing up attempts not to make her feel that he has no idea who she is. The great thing about the Flight of the Conchords is that their facial expressions make the songs much much better.
The Humans Are Dead or Robots (Flight of the Conchords)
This has got to be my favorite Flight of the Conchords song. It showcases wonderfully the guys’ talents in song-writing, guitar-playing, wit, sarcasm, and colorfully-worded crude language. Who doesn’t want to be told by a human-killing robot to “come on sucker, lick my batteries”. Also, the Binary Solo! You’ll understand when you watch the video. The epicness of it all cannot be condensed into mere words.
This video is from the Flight of the Conchords TV show, not a live performance. I’ve never watched the show but I found this video on YouTube and liked it very much. Bret is down and Jemaine wants to cheer him up so he writes a song for him. The song starts out okay but becomes strangely homoerotic towards the end, which leads to a lot of awkwardness. My favorite line would have to be: “Why can’t a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?”
Of course, there are a lot of other videos on YouTube that I might find great in the years to come, but these are the ones that popped into my head while I was writing this list. Also, if you liked the videos above, there are a ton of other songs from those two duos that you might like. For Garfunkel and Oates, you can try Present Face or F**k You. For Flight of the Conchords, I highly recommend Issues (Think About It, Think Think About It) or their famous gangster-folk crossover Hiphopopotamus vs. The Rhymenoceros.
UPDATE: I found new songs from Garfunkel and Oates! Check these babies out: I Don’t Know Who You Are is a song about that moment when you’re talking with someone and they know you but you can’t remember who they are. Hey Girl in the Moonlight is about that moment when someone’s singing to you and you have no idea what to do. Go Kart Racing (Accidentally Masturbatin’) is this awesome and seriously wrong song about an experience the duo had while they were go kart racing.
I really hope I managed to convince you to like some of the videos I’ve listed here. Come to think of it, I really like F**k You. I should have placed that in the top five. Oh well. I highly recommend you watch all of the videos I’ve listed and linked to in this article. I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. If you are, send me a message or comment on this post, and we’ll hash out your obvious psychological problems.