A few friends have been asking me to write about something more ‘serious’ and ‘meaningful’ on this blog since, according to them, I’ve only been writing about shallow stuff that don’t really help anyone (yeah, thanks guys). So I asked them what they wanted to see on my blog and one of them–a small, usually timid girl who likes the concept of love way too much–suggested that I write about what goes through a guy’s head while he’s falling in love.
The CDA community is notorious for its love of good booze and great food.
I don’t think there are any watering holes around De La Salle-College of Saint Benilde that we haven’t gone to. My batchmates will remember (vividly) Marivic’s Bistro (need I point out where this beloved establishment was once located?) and the many nights we spent getting drunk there and basically breaking stuff and shouting at passers-by from the second floor.
Everyone knows someone who just can’t help but get on other people’s nerves. It may be a douche you know from work, or a pesky neighbor, or even a “friend” who keeps trying to insert herself into your life. Whoever it is, they’re annoying and it’s slowly turning you into someone who’d actually contemplate murder.
This article, however, isn’t about that. This is about you being annoying and taking that to a whole new level. People easily get annoyed, it’s one of the weaknesses of the human race. You don’t see lions or water buffaloes getting pissed when they can’t reach the last Pringles because their hand won’t fit in the can, or giraffes or alligators getting angry because someone messed with the height of their office chair.
So, without further ado, here are a few things that you could do to become the biggest douche in your immediate vicinity. Or, you know, if you’re just really bored and you want to see how people would react to the unexpected.
I’m pretty sure that that’s the first thing that came to mind when you read the blog post title. That, or watching porn with the volume way up. But, for the moment, let us pretend that we are a couple of wholesome teenagers who just want to have fun on a Friday night but because we don’t sit at the ‘cool’ table in the school cafeteria, we weren’t invited to the parties.
While I’m typing away on my laptop, two people are sitting together right in front of me and they are obviously in love with each other. Everything about them says that they should be way more than friends, but here’s the catch: it’s also obvious that neither of them have told the other person how they feel. It’s all there. So what words can you use to describe this phenomenon?
I’ve talked before about how men, when sober, talk about perverted stuff but when they’re drunk, the conversations veer towards politics, philosophy, or life, the universe, and everything. So I have this friend and during one of our regular drinking sessions, he tells me about his little arrangement with his girlfriend and how he wants to exercise his rights from that arrangement as soon as possible.
In the past few days, Twitter users must have noticed the overabundance of hashtags that are love-related–or, more specifically, related to those people that can’t say shit in real life but can do so on Twitter. The latest ones are #AhasLines and #DearCrush. But, if you remember, this all started way back in early October with the hashtag #DyanNagsisimulaYan.
There were a lot of gems on this particular hashtag, of course. You can check some of them here. Not the kind who are willing to just sit idly by and watch history unravel, CDA students came together and formed a response to #DyanNagsisimulaYan and called it #CDAPickupLines. This blog post collects the best of them, for your perusal. Think of this as a more distilled and much more specific version of Barney Stinson’s The Playbook.
NOTE: The following pickup lines are very potent when used on an unwitting CDA hottie (when used on a non-CDA student, all you can hope to get is a bewildered look followed by a get-the-hell-away-from-me glare). If used correctly and desired response does not take place, the fault must be on your part. The problem might be the delivery. Or your face.