I’ve made it my life mission (or, at the very least, something to do on the weekends) to look for things that other people can do to make their boring lives marginally less tedious. In my search, I’ve made lists of things you can do when you’re bored at home, as well as tips on how to be annoying when you have the time.
This post, however, is more for the romantically-inclined. So here’s the scenario: you’re sitting on the couch with the girl you’re interested in, watching re-runs of Doctor Who (if you may be so lucky) or FRIENDS. You don’t know what to do, and your girl is obviously bored. That’s where it starts. One day, it’s boredom, the next, your girlfriend’s gonna be saying that the ‘spark’ is gone from your relationship. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?
So, my dear virtual bro, here are a couple of things you can do to bring that spark back to your relationship. For the girls out there, bring out your pad and take some notes (and superstitiously leave them in a place your guy usually frequents–like on the couch or beside the toilet bowl).
- Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence. This is hard to do in Metro Manila so you might want to drive to the countryside, or to Taguig. Whichever’s closest.
- Go to a major chain bookstore, or to any library in your area, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books. The notes could range from reviews of the books you’re gonna be putting them in, or inspirational messages.
- Have your girl dress up as a colored ghost. Dress up as Pacman and walk around the city holding hands. When people see you and point, pretend to be embarrassed by your forbidden love then run off screaming ‘WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA’.
- Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen. Show the evidence to your friends.
- Dress up as superheroes and stop at least one petty crime i.e. jaywalking, littering, etc.
- Wake up at four or five in the morning and watch the sunrise together. This is preferable if you have access to a rooftop or a relatively high hill.
- Build forts out of furniture and blankets and wage war with paper airplanes. Plus points if you can make a crown (paper, if you’re cheap) and offer it to her when she “wins” the fort war.
- Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
- Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for the weekend. This also works if you go to the nearest provincial bus station.
- Dress impeccably, go to an auto dealership far away from your neighborhood, and pretend you’re newly-weds. Test-drive the most expensive vehicles in the dealership lot.
- Get dressed up and do breakfast properly. Make a big deal out of it: include fabulous pancakes, decadent waffles, poached eggs & the best hollandaise. A bit of surreptitious Googling should set you on the right track.
- Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you both have secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time. For people in Manila, Carlos Celdran’s tours are awesome.
- In the middle of the night, drive to the beach and wait for the sun to rise. Fall asleep in each other’s arms. Don’t forget to bring a sun umbrella.
- Drive to somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. Use fake names.
- Go to a sports event, preferably one where you don’t know either team. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of junk food.
- Go to an art gallery on a Saturday afternoon. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn about a person if you go and check out art together.
- Go around the city with some chalk and draw hearts on random surfaces . Preferably sidewalks. Be careful when doing this in Makati though–watch out for those Segway-riding cops.
- Walk around the city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras. Run away fast when the guards come to check it out.
- With a camera and a pair of boots (and maybe a long coat), make a photo diary of a day in the life of an invisible man.
- Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast in the morning.
- Have a bring-your-own-movie night. You both bring movies you like and watch them one after the other. This way, you can showcase your ineffable taste while learning a lot about your girl.
- Go to a restaurant and use your negotiation skills to convince the cook to create something entirely new for you and your date.
- Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.
- Look for live bands playing the night of your date and choose one at random. They could be amazing, or completely hellish–you won’t know until you go.
- Visit a playground in your neighborhood. You know, the ones with the monkey bars and the kid-sized slide. Spend the day like little six year olds. Have ice cream afterwards.
- Trawl your city for old-school photobooths and take as many strips as you can. Take props, maybe a silly wig or two, and see how bizarre you can make them.
- Pretend to be tourists in your own city. Wear a baseball cap, khakis and a bum bag (“fanny pack”) for a feeling of real authenticity, and don’t forget to take plenty of photos! This works best if one of you looks foreign. Ask random pedestrians for directions.
- Take a really long one-way walk. No rules except that you just have to walk for a really long time in one direction and not turn around. When you’re really exhausted or you hit the ocean, it’s time to go back. Catch a taxi or a bus or something to ease the pain.
- Liveblog your date. Upload pictures, tweet it, even give it a hash-tag. #patrickand____sdatenight. Isn’t that adorable?
- Have a “first date” night. This one obviously works best if it’s not your actual first date. For example, you’ve been together for three years and live in the same house. Get dressed separately, meet somewhere strange and a bit awkward, and pretend you don’t know one another. Start from scratch. Ask all those banal questions you’re supposed to ask (“So, what do you do?”). Then at the end of the night, rejoice that you’re in a relationship and not dating any more!
Here’s a good idea: set aside a whole month with your girl and do one of the things on the list each night. I guarantee that this will bring the spark back. If it doesn’t, maybe it’s time to check if someone in the relationship is gay.