Remember the Internet in the early 90s, when the sound of dial-up haunted your dreams? For those who don’t remember what dial-up is and why the Internet was a fucked-up place to be at that time, consider yourselves lucky. You didn’t have to wait for hours, unable to use the phone, while your sister chats someone up online. You didn’t have to worry if the Nigerian prince you’re talking to is a fraud or if the little girl sending you pictures is actually a middle-aged FBI agent. You didn’t have to face the dreaded “a/s/l” question every time you go online. You didn’t have to….*breaks down*
I don’t think anyone in my age group would argue that the Internet was a scary place back then and people you met online were not to be trusted. It was no place for an impressionable teenager, and you can’t possibly foment lasting relationships through it.
But a lot has changed in the last two decades.
A few hundred years ago, when I was still in college, a Filipino professor asked us to write a short story–something partly based on the truth, but embellished with a lot of fiction (like most news reports nowadays). This is the short story I submitted.
I apologize to my readers who don’t speak/read Filipino. I also apologize to Filipinos who don’t speak/read really deep Filipino. This is a course requirement, after all. It had to be as scholarly as possible.
So on we go.
Apparently, I am seen by many of my friends as some kind of TV show and movie guru. That might seem like a compliment when it is presented like that but in truth, it is a euphemism for them thinking that I spend my days sitting on my ass watching TV (which isn’t that far off from what I actually do).
Because of this, I am always asked to recommend TV shows for them to watch. And because I am a lazy bastard, I am going to condense all my usual answers into this one blog post and just refer them to this when they ask. It’s just more efficient (and requires a lot less energy) this way.
This post is going to be divided into two parts: shows that are still on the air, and shows that have already ended/been cancelled/in network hell/just isn’t on TV any more.
Take my hand and let’s jump down the rabbit hole together.
Those two words never fail to strike fear into the heart of every man. It means another boy-meets-girl movie. Or ‘girl moves into small town and happens to sit next to a sparkly vampire with the hots for her’ movie. The kind of movie with like thirty minutes of sappy dialogue and silent staring-into-each-other’s-souls moments. The kind of movie that might just star *shivers*…Hugh Grant.
As I’ve mentioned before. I’m trying to ease myself into a more active lifestyle and part of it is doing a lot of cardio. The first thing you learn when you walk into a gym with your beer belly slung over your tight gym shorts like a waggling tongue is that you need to lose weight first before you try and gain a lot of muscle.
In the last few months, I’ve started easing myself into a more active lifestyle. This started when I moved into a building that actually had its own gym, which made it impossible for me to use ‘but the gym is too faaar!’ as an excuse not to work out. I’m not a serious gym addict or whatever, but I do see the benefits of exercise and the endorphins (which will henceforth be referred to as ‘happy juice’) that come with the burn.
I work out every other day to maintain this shit body, and I have seen a lot of weird and annoying things in the gym that would have led to murder if it were legal. Seriously though, if murder were legal, there’d be a lot of dead people right now. Anyway, a workout session can get really crappy really fast if you’re sharing the gym with an asshole(s).
So I’m begging you, don’t be that guy.
If you’re even the most casual of gamers, there’s been that moment when you were minding your own business and just playing a video game and someone walks up to you, sees you sprawled on the couch with Cheeto stains all over you, and starts lecturing you on how you’re wasting your life and how you should start dealing with the “real world”. And, if you’re like me, you might have wanted to throw the controller at them.