Abra

“Pag sinabi mo sa kanya yung nakita mo, I swear papatayin kita!”

Kung may nakakita sa amin, siguro matatawa na lang sila. Isang maliit at payat na babae, pinagbabantaan ang isang matipuno at gwapong lalaking tulad ko? Alright, exaggeration yung matipuno, pero confidence lang yan, pare.

Saktong five feet nothing lang ang height ni Kate pero pag may nagtanong, sinasabi niyang five feet and one half inches siya, kasi at least diba, malaki na ‘yung ganung difference para sa kanya. Pero hindi yun sumagi sa utak ko ngayon habang pinagbabantaan nitong little girl na ito ang buhay ko.

“Ano ka ba, siyempre hindi ko sasabihin sa kanya!” Medyo kumalma siya dito, pero mukha pa ding isasaksak niya sa akin yung hawak niyang HBW na ballpen kung huminga ako ng mali. “Ikaw dapat ang mag-sabi sa kanya! Ikaw yung girlfriend e!”

“Hindi nga niya pwedeng malaman! Pag nalaman niya, masasaktan lang siya and iiwan niya ako! Yun ba ang gusto mong mangyari? Ang masaktan ang bestfriend mo?”

Aba e gago din ito ano. Siya na nga ang may sikreto na medyo sobrang super-duper deal breaker, tapos ako pa daw ang gusto manakit sa bestfriend ko?

“Ikaw lang ang nakakaalam nito, Patrick ha! Kaya pag nalaman ni Drew ang totoo, alam kong ikaw ang nagsabi sa kanya, at kapag nangyari yun, papatayin talaga kita!”

Tiningnan ako ng masama ni Kate tapos bigla na lang siyang umikot at naglakad palayo. Kung may tingin na nakamamatay, siguro umuusok na tumpok ng alikabok na lang ako ngayon. Hinintay ko hanggang makuha niya ang bag niya at lumabas ng classroom bago ako huminga ulit ng malalim.

Paano ba ako nadamay sa gulong ito? Diba dapat kapag may problema ang mag jowa, sila lang ang involved? Ang unfair naman kung idadamay pa yung mga tao sa paligid nila. Pero to be fair, itong issue na ito, medyo uncharted territory sa history ng relationships. At kung ako ang nagsasabi niyan, alam niyong ibang level talaga, kasi one time may girlfriend ako na nahuli kong nakikipaghalikan sa ibang babae, tapos sinabihan ako na tibo na daw siya. Top that.

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5 Realizations From Being Broke in Your 20s

If you’re in your early 20s and already financially stable, I have one thing to say to you: GO AWAY.

Being in your 20s is a confusing time for anyone: you just passed through the hellish, pimply phase that is puberty and have been thrust headfirst into adulthood and handed–*gasp*–responsibilities. You’re paying bills left and right and expected to earn and save money when barely a few years ago, you had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom.

So okay, we have all these obligations and responsibilities, and we’re broke as hell. Here’s a few things I’ve realized as a member of this exclusive club:

The 5 People You Meet in Flower Shops

We just went through another Valentine’s Day and this year, by some stroke of luck and an unexpected olive branch from the Universe, I did not spend it alone. Anyway, for a lot of guys (and girls too!) the flower shop is the busiest hub. Some of these stores even hire extra people in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, just to keep up. They attract a lot of people, but if you look closely, you’ll see they fall into one of five categories.

2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 87,000 times in 2013. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 4 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Preparing for (and Dealing With) Natural Disasters: The Geek Way

As much as I’d like to start this post on a positive note, the strongest storm system on the planet this year is currently Falcon Punching the heck out of my country and I find it hard to be upbeat. Which is why I’m writing a doomsday manual. For geeks. Because we need to survive: so we can rise from the ashes and rule the post-apocalyptic world as masters of the human race.